


Tightrope

by Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Future Fic, Imprisoned Loki, King Thor, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that/pseuds/Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor is king and Loki is a prisoner. Loki wants to see Thor, but Thor would never be able to guess what is that Loki wants. Not slash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Thor.
> 
> A/N: Happens after Thor Dark World but set in the future from there.

Thor gazed at the kingdom from his high throne looking as the sun struck the spires and sides of the gleaming buildings as it slowly set on Asgard. He glanced up as one of his soldiers came into the room and stood at attention waiting for Thor's permission to proceed. Thor nodded giving his permission and the man said.

"The prisoner has asked to see you." Thor had been king for 50 years now and so he didn't let his surprise or suspicion show in his gaze although he felt both emotions. The was no need to ask for clarification.  There was only one prisoner that was so bad that everyone just called him the prisoner because they felt him undeserving of the name Loki after everything he had done.

It was obvious why Thor was suspicious because Loki had shown himself on several occasions to be untrustworthy. He still, even though it had been 50 years, felt fire burning in his blood about what Loki had done to his father. Loki had killed him and taken his place and it had taken five years before Loki's deeds became known.

His surprise was because in all the 50 years that Loki had been in prison after being sentenced for killing his father, Loki had never asked to see him before. Thor had never gone to see him either. After all, he knew that there had to be no goodness in Loki's heart if he could kill the man that had raised him, even if he knew that Loki was angry with him.

Thor's first inclination after having heard Loki's- he needed to stop thinking of him as that- the prisoner's request was to deny it. After all, the prisoners, especially one as bad as he was, did not deserve to have their requests answered. However, there also a part of him that was curious, even though he knew it was surely a ploy to escape. Loki had come up with many attempts over the years to do so, but none of them had worked. A few had come close. Loki was clever and thought of people like toys and tools to be used by him for whatever he wished. The curious part of himself wanted to know what Loki wanted to tell him after all this time. 50 years and Loki had never asked to talk to him till now.

Thor knew that he probably shouldn't go, but there was still a small part of him that hoped that his brother- the prisoner had learned his lesson. That Loki was back to being his brother again, even though the more rational part of him knew that his brother had been given every opportunity to change, but had refused every single time.

Thor nodded his thanks to the soldier, after he realized that the soldier was still in front of him waiting to be dismissed. The solider bowed shortly to him before leaving the room. Thor looked across the realm and wondered what it was that he should do? Well, that wasn't entirely accurate. Thor knew he shouldn't go see the prisoner, but that didn't stop that small part of him from wondering what Loki wanted. There was also an even smaller part that still thought that Loki could still be redeemed.

Thor got off his throne and paced up and down the gold gleaming room as he tried to convince himself at the same time to go and to not go. However, no matter how many times he went over why it was a bad idea and that Loki had to be planning something he decided to go. He motioned to his guards that were standing by the door and had been watching him pace impassively. They had both been there when the message had come so they knew what he was  considering. Even though he knew the soldiers well enough to know that they probably disapproved of his actions, they didn't say anything as they followed him out of the room.

Thor began the long journey down to the dungeons. Loki's old cell hadn't been so far away, but that was before he had been charged with killing the king and had been moved to far less comfortable quarters than his old cell. 

Thor was the one that had passed the sentence himself. If it had been anyone else the punishment would have been death. He had still considered it for a long time, but in the end he had decided on imprisonment because he knew that their mother wouldn't have liked Thor putting Loki to death. It was only Frigga's memory that had kept Loki alive.

Thor found the temperature dropping the further they got to the dungeon Loki inhabited. His glare minutely increased for a moment as he remembered that Loki wouldn't even be uncomfortable with how cold it was down there because of his heritage. Thor stopped as he got to the room. This wasn't the room that his- the prisoner was in. It was the room where the guards stood watching over him with a magic projection of the room that Loki was in, though the actually room was only on the other side of the wall. Thor found himself working hard to keep himself from looking surprised or angry or mortified as he looked at Loki in his cell.

The guards had told him awhile ago that Loki had stopped eating. In fact, it had probably been about a year since he had stopped eating, which was why his brother was abnormally thin. A human would have died by now from the lack of nutrition, but since they were made of hardier stuff Loki was still alive. His black hair was thinning and had some white strands in it making him look older than he really was.

The state of the room itself was not surprisingly. It looked the same as it had when he had personally put Loki in the cell 50 years ago. It was just concrete, the slab Loki was lying on was concrete as well, but he was lying on it like it was a feather mattress. Although from the looks of it he doubted that Loki could move- he shook his head reminding himself that Loki had used this ploy before. 30 years ago he had starved himself like this to make everyone think he was weak and then he had tried to escape.

"How long has it been since he has eaten?" he found himself asking the guard who looked at him respectfully, but at the same time he knew that none of the guards in the room would care if his brother was to die-the prisoner he reminded himself. .

"About a year sir." one of them said to him and Thor nodded. When Loki had used this trick 30 years ago it had only been for a few months.  After his trick hadn't worked he had gone back to eating the meager rations that he usually got. There was a small part of his heart that hurt seeing Loki like that. Thor had grown up thinking that they were brothers after all and he had never liked seeing his brother in pain. However, he reminded himself that he was king now and he couldn't allow his brotherly concern to replace his duty as king. That didn't stop his concern about Loki or his curiosity about what Loki wanted to tell him though. After another long internal conversation with himself in which he tried to tried to convince himself to let it go, in the end he went against what his head was telling him was the right thing to do.

"I wish to see him," Thor asked and the soldiers paused for a moment like they were going to going to argue, before they remembered that Thor was king and that disobeying the order of the king was not a wise decision. His guards spent a good 20 minutes telling him how cunning Loki was and reminding him of several of Loki's more effective but the end useless escape attempts. They also reminded him of his crimes even though Thor did not need to be reminded, he remembered them well. He supposed that they were trying to get him to reconsider but without directly saying so, so that it would not seem like they were questioning the king.

Eventually though they stopped when they seemed to realize that they couldn't change his mind. Instead, they led him to the spot in the wall where the door was that led to the hallway that led to the cell. It was made the way it was so that even if Loki managed to break out of his cell, which he had done before, he would have to find the one spot in the hallway which would lead out. Even if he managed to do that, there was guards would stop him from making it any further. 

The wall separating the guards room from the hallway was a red and gold, at least on this side. As Thor stepped through what had looked like solid brick he looked at the hallway he now found himself in. After lighting the lantern which one of the guards had given him he took in his surroundings. The hallway was very long and the brick was not the same color as it had been on the other side of the wall. The red and gold brick had changed into black bricks and runes marked the walls. He wasn't sure what they said, but he knew what they were for. The runes were to keep Loki in even if he manged to get out of his cell (which he had managed to do a few times). Loki had been unable to leave since the portal between the hallway and the guard-room was controlled by one of the guards and using a single word they could make the wall impassable. All this made the cell a very effective prison, albeit not very pleasant.

Thor followed the hallway since it was the only way he could go. Having never been on the other side of the wall before he moved slowly but purposely forward. The hallway took another ten minutes to follow before he saw the cell, this time in person and also the prisoner. The cell was filled with runes and spells all to make sure that Loki couldn't so much light a candle.

Sometimes he felt bad that Loki had to spend all his time in the dark- The prisoner he reminded himself but it was harder to be detached when he actually saw him and saw how paper-thin he was.

Thor reminded himself that Loki had to be in the dark because they could not give him light. He had used the few items he had been allowed and had gotten out of the cell before. Even though the cell had about 20 different locks of varying kinds plus a bar welded over the entrance.

Loki at the moment looked exactly the same as he did in the projection, only his skinniness seemed even more alarming in person. Thor took in a deep breath and reminded himself of Loki's crimes, especially Loki's crime of killing Odin because only that shut down the protective instinct inside of him that wanted him to take Loki away from the dark cold cell. It was the only way he was able to make his voice emotionless as he asked Loki guardedly.

"You asked to speak to me?" Loki looked up for the first time since Thor had gotten into the room even though he had to have heard him since Thor had not exactly been as light on feet. Loki made a move like he was trying to sit up but lacked the energy to do so. After a few more tries he gave up and just tilted his eyes at Thor.

"Yes I did, I need you to kill me."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Even after all his years as king and his growing ability to mask his feeling was Thor able to stop from responding.

"What?" Thor asked in a very shocked voice. Loki was nothing if not narcissistic. Even if he did want to die Thor was sure that Loki would try to do it himself rather than ask him... then again there was nothing in Loki's room that remotely dangerous...suddenly his brother's state made sense.

"Is that why you aren't eating?" he asked careful to give nothing away in his voice. Loki smiled, but it wasn't his usual smug smile but a sad bitter smile.

"Yes, apparently we gods can live for a long time without sustenance. If I were human I would have been dead a long time ago," Thor made sure to keep the mask on of indifference, but it was that, a mask. He knew he shouldn't care after all that Loki had done: including killing their own father. Thor knew that he shouldn't care, but he did, his brother wanted to die. Thor shook his head, he couldn't allow that to sidetrack him. Thor instead thought of their mother who wouldn't want Thor to kill Loki even if Loki himself wanted to die. Thor could not grant Loki his wish.

"I will not, so if that is all you wish to speak about I'll be leaving now," Thor said and turned on his foot to leave like nothing he had seen or heard had bothered him in any way.

"That's not all," Loki said in barely a whisper and Thor found himself turning back around and shone the light over Loki's form. Thor stopped as he got to Loki's face. Loki was normally not like this. He was usually so full of life even when he had been doing evil things, his eyes had been wild and full of madness. Now there only seemed to be a hint of madness. This had to be some sort of trick Thor reminded himself. Loki could easily pull a trick like this off since he was the master of lies and deception.

"You need to kill me and I need to let you know why," Loki said calmly like he was talking about the weather. Thor hovered indecisively for a moment before he nodded. He would not give in, if only for their mother's sake. Part of him told Thor that that was a lie, but Thor shoved it violently to the back of his mind. Instead, Thor told himself that maybe something that Loki had to say would be beneficial to know.

"I was born to darkness," Loki said matter of factually and without a trace of emotion, seeing Thor's look he said "No, I don't mean just because I am Jotun although that probably has played a significant part in all this,"Loki sighed "It's taken me 50 years in this prison with nothing to do but think to realize all this, but even as a child I had dark desires. I was more prone to wrath and anger than others. Prone to ambition, and ambition and pride were really my downfall. You see, I could never be the most physically powerful, the most good, or the most kind because you were. So since I couldn't be the best at those I found myself trying to be the best at being most cunning, most malicious, the best at magic. I've always been more easily drawn to dark than light," he said with a bitter smile.

"However, I did try to fight it fight the darkness inside of me... at least at first. I've come to think of it like I was walking a tightrope. A tightrope between darkness and light. Darkness always pulled at me and I tried to stay upright to keep walking the tightrope, but the darkness kept pulling at me until I fell. Always falling." Loki said vacantly staring at the wall for a long moment before his gaze went back to Thor.

"When I found out the truth the darkness shrouded me, pushing me so far off the edge and into the darkness. The void only made it worse and the Chitauri were no help either. It's taken me 50 long years to be able to pull myself back onto the tightrope. To see my past actions in a way that I haven't seen them in a long time. So I ask you again please kill me," Thor stared at him long and hard; he seemed genuine but Loki was the best liar he knew and he wasn't called the god of lies for no reason. Still his words burrowed in his heart and it was the first time in a long time that Loki genuinely seemed to realize that his past deeds were wrong, even if he still didn't seem particularly sorry for them. There was also the matter that he was asking Thor to kill him, the thought sickened him.

Even though he was very angry at his brother, he found it impossible at the moment to be detached enough to call him the prisoner even in his head. There were so many different thoughts running through his head he found it impossible to speak.

"Thor please," Loki asked breaking the previous calm over his face. Loki pleaded with him the way he would when he was a boy and he had wanted Thor to do something that Thor didn't want to do. Thor shook his head; he was no longer a child. He was an adult and a king. He couldn't just bend himself to Loki's will.

Besides what Loki was asking of him was monstrous. There had been a time he might even have said yes, like after Odin's death had been found out. But Loki was his only family member left. Even though he had told himself that the only reason that Loki was still alive was because their mother would have wished it; he knew somewhere inside of him that was a lie. There was a part of Thor buried deep inside of him that couldn't hurt his brother. At the same time though he still knew that he needed to keep Loki away from anyone that he could hurt with his lies and trickery. Thor latched onto the part of him that was angry so he wouldn't be drowned in sadness.

"So you will not feel the guilt I think not," Thor said haughtily but Loki shook his head.

"This isn't about guilt Thor. It's about clarity and I have it for the first time in a long time. I know myself now and I know my darkness and if it is not stopped now permanently it will only grow again," Loki said earnestly. It was earnestness that really got to him. Thor knew it could be a trick, but he wanted to believe him. It was like a dam in his heart had broken. All his emotions, the brotherly ones he had pushed down now came rushing to the surface. It was like he was back in Midgard 50 years ago and all Thor wanted was for his brother to come home.

"If you have clarity then maybe you will not fall into darkness again," Thor said gripping the bars that kept him from Loki. He knew better than to try to enter the room even though he wanted to. He wanted to be with Loki at the moment. Thor again had a small spark of hope that his brother would see the light and would become the brother he had known and loved again. The spark had been smothered under years of hatred and anger and he never thought it would appear again, but it had somehow ignited again. Loki shook his head, though.

"Clarity is not the kind of thing thatis bound to stay in me for any long period of time."

"Then try harder." Thor growled.

"Thor you know I am not lightness," Loki said like he had no hope of that.

"That is just an excuse," Thor growled angrily and bent the bar slightly, but enough for him to realized he probably shouldn't be putting his hands on them. Instead, Thor moved his fists to his sides.

"I was always bound for darkness," Loki said plainly like there was no other explanation.

"You cannot blame fate for your actions!" Thor yelled.

"I'm not. My actions are my own but we both know who I am." Loki said calmly.

"Then change," Thor insisted.

"I have tried, but whatever I intend to it always ends up the same... darkness," Loki said calmly. Thor didn't like how calm Loki was being about it all. Thor was used to anger and sharp words when talking about such things, not this. It was like Loki had given up or wanted to get up. Loki was after all asking Thor to kill him.

"Help me the only way that you can," Loki asked verbally calmly but his eyes were pleading.

"I cannot," Thor said with a shake of his head, he stood and backed up a few feet so that he could only barely see his brother slight frame in the dim lantern light.

"We both know that I will eventually find my way out of here; and we both know that I will fall again. We both know that when I do I will hurt people; maybe even kill them. You can stop me now." Loki said and Thor honestly had to hold back his tears. How could his brother ask him of that? How could he honestly think that he could do that? Yet at the same time he knew what Loki was saying could be true. Loki was brilliant, one of the greatest minds of Asgard. He couldn't deny the fact that it was very possible that Loki was right. That if Thor left him alive that he would live, or maybe not live, to regret it.

"I will not," he said with a shake of his head. Loki was his brother and he tried to tell himself that Loki would never escape, even if he wasn't terribly sure he believed it.

"Then you are a fool," Loki said with no trace of emotion and went back to looking at the ceiling. Thor nodded, it was very possible he was a fool, but he still couldn't do it. Thor still couldn't kill Loki no matter what he had done and no matter what he might do.

"Then I am a fool," Thor said then swallowed. "I will leave you now unless will give up your pleas," he turned his back on Loki.

"Thor you know I am right." Loki said and Thor swallowed again, he didn't want to believe him. "I killed your father!" Loki called to him and Thor turned around angry again.

"Why Loki?! All he ever did was love you! He saved you from dying as a child. Why did you have to do that?!" Thor asked the question for the first time angrily, but still calmer than he had been when he first found out. Time had helped him remain calmer.

"Because I am darkness," Loki insisted."You are light and so was he, darkness and light cannot exist together."

"Loki, fight it." Thor insisted even though Loki seemed convinced that there was nothing good inside of him. Over the years, Thor had convinced himself of the same. Only, it was a lot easier to do when he hadn't had to face Loki and could most of the time forget that he even existed.

"There is nothing to fight. The darkness will win again if you let it," Loki said like there was no other path.

"I cannot sit here and listen to you beg me to kill you." Thor said with a shake of his head and made to leave but Loki's voice stopped him as soon as his back turned.

"You know the darkness will win, it always does... Perhaps you will reconsider when the darkness falls again." Loki said.

"Perhaps I will." Thor agreed, but he knew something drastic would have to happen before he intended to end his own brother's life. After everything else Loki had already done, he hated to think how bad it would have to get before he relented. But if the day was to come that Thor would kill Loki it was not that day. Thor walked away as he heard Loki say without any trace of emotion his tone dropping with every word.

"Falling... always... falling."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know your thoughts.


End file.
